It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
