I wish I could teleport
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
