Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
