He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
