Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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