Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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