I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
