he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
