We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
