Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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