Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
