I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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