my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
