shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize