I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
