i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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