So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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