the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
