Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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