i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
