white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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