kristin has been a bad kristin
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
