i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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