let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize