how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
