you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
