it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
