Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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