when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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