The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
