no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
