this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
In other news, I just burned my penis
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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