Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
