just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
