Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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