Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
