I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
