She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
