I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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