it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
