Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
