Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Are my feet made of real feet?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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