I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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