now i know why i became what i already was.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
