just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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