Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
