Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
