How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
