To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
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I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
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You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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