if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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