so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
