i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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