AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
