My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
