omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
