He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
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