lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
ttyl tear gas
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
