Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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